Wednesday, September 15, 2010

More News.........

And if you could not guess from that, it was not good news like I was hoping. Two weeks ago I had more blood work done by my OBGYN. Now yes I might have pushed to have that done, because I just wanted to do something, and yes that might explain more about why I am upset with the current state of things, but more on that soon.

The doctor finally called me back Monday (3 messages before it happened-and yes I am still annoyed by that). So all my tests are normal and negative. I should be happy right? Nothing is wrong with me. Ok so let's take a second and be happy about that. Yay for being a healthy person! So if I am healthy then where is Aunt Flow?!? Apparently I am not ovulating, really I could have told me that...wait I did....but they are the doctors not me..... The new plan (the doctor's not mine) is to wait 6 MORE WEEKS (which seem like forever to me) then if nothing has changed (does she really think it will) go to a Specialist. I am not sure about the Specialist part. I thought she was just going to put me on Clomid. That is what I have heard from a number of friends that their OBGYN's have done, but like Hubby said, SHE is the DOCTOR and I will just go with her.....

The other day when I got the news I was really upset and very emotional about it. Luckily a few days later I am doing much better. I know that there is a bigger plan for me and I just have to relax and let nature take its course. Well ok we know that is not 100% true. I have to do my thing a little bit. That being said I did stop with the BBT charting and actually got some ovulation tests.
 First Response Ovulation Test 20-pk.
I always thought these things would be a waste of money, but after talking to a friend, she said she used them to help get pregnant with her little one, so I thought why not. They only have a 30 day life so I think I will wait until after I see the Specialist to try to increase our chances. Any advice? Any one try this out before?

I did want to address one more thing, since I have now learned that more people read my blog then I thought (and people I actually know offline - Hi to all my friends and family!) there is a reason that I have not talked to any of you about this in person but have shared it here. Please do not think that it is not that I don't want to share it with you, it is more a personal issue. This whole thing has made me feel like a bit of a failure (stupid I know but do we really need to explain our emotions?). So if I have not talked to you about it or talked to you about it any more please do not take that the wrong way. This is just something that I am not able to talk about in person but for some reason really find writing about it to be very helpful for my emotional well being. I am becoming more able to talk about it in person so if you bring it up to me, I will most likely talk to you about it, BUT I will never be the one to bring it up because right now I am just not ready for that face to face conversation. I hope that helps because I am pretty sure a few people out there have been a little confused as to why I would not talk to them about all this, but have posted it online.

Hope that helps, thanks to all of you for the continued support and love, it means the world to me!

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